So, I've applied for a job at Best Buy for a business consultant, a Geek Squad Supervisor-type, and after a couple of phone calls, voicemails to me, and several emails back and forth, I was invited to fill out an on-line job application which would screen me with various questions before being invited to a job fair late next week.
The website would perform a background credit check (yikes - bankruptcy hit), a DMV check (yikes - collections, parking tickets, and speeding ticket hits), verify my address history (they required 5 years of past addresses, so after filling that portion out for 20 minutes, it eventually just let me proceed further, even though I wasn't finished), and after asking me to consent to sign away and remaining shreds of privacy and or dignity, asked me some interesting questions I hadn't seen before - like "have you ever been disciplined by a previous employer" - which had a radio button yes;/no answer. I had to answer "Yes", because there's a letter in my Qualcomm employee file from when my manager @ qualcomm tried to fuck me over because I was Gay. There's also a letter in his file, and a counter letter in my file, and another letter about the presence of both letters in my file from me and why I thought it was all bullshit. And then there was the how many jobs have I had in the past year, which, officially is greater than 3 (Bourbon Street, LumenVox, Quantum Spark, Ordinary Miracles, construction job, the beckman-coulter consulting gig, etc). And then the system prompted me with the positions I was applying for (there was never any official title that I applied for, just general job areas) requires either an MCSE or CCNA certification (Microsoft Certified Server Engineer or a Cisco Certified Network Associate). Which I don't have either. I've taken the MCSE Windows 2000 training ($11,000) but never finished the exams (declared bankruptcy in the middle of it and didn't feel right about using the exam certificates that were effectively being wiped out by the bankruptcy - it felt to much like stealing). I have the experience supporting systems in a Data Center for a Fortune 100 company that heavily relied on Windows and Cisco, so I have the experience, but not the HR checkbox for the certifications.
So the system exited me out, informed me that there were no positions at Best Buy that I was currently qualified for and invited me to apply for jobs again at Best Buy in 45 days.
I'm sooo fucking pissed off. I just wasted an hour going through this, and all the time spent in phone calls, resume edits, and email follow-through. Not to mention the briefest moment of HOPE that I could humiliate myself by working in a retail position - "real IT people don't do retail" has been a moto for years. but I swallowed my pride, and applied for this kind of job with ENTHUSIASM.
Now, pretend you're me, and repeat this encounter hundreds of times over 4+ years (as a percentage of thousands of jobs applied for) and then figure out what you're doing wrong with your life while still trying to be open and receptive to the next opportunity that comes your way because it could be the way out of the hell you're in.
All of those questions are a build-up, you get so many points added or subtracted based on an internal formula that the business analyst types have defined as "these people are a good match for our company values". Too many address and jobs in a particular length of time, goes to unstable or unreliable, and points are deducted; Bankruptcy, deduction, because it shows irresponsible use of credit and current credit unworthiness; DMV, responsibility with a motor vehicle and paying off municipal taxes; Disciplined by a previous employer, thats also a red flag, but probably something to bring up in the interview to give the applicant a fair trial - or at least hear them out before acting on the already preconceived notions. Of course, having to disclose my sexual orientation as part of the background of the story wouldn't be something I'd be especially thrilled to do, as it touches on violating my constitutional rights under the 14th amendment, and opens me up to being unfairly judged and discriminated against based on societal values and imaginations of what someone like me does in my private life (as you all know, I don't have a life and the irony of being judged by illusions of others is especially interesting for a self-proclaimed dreamer); Not having certifications, goes to discipline, and seriousness about being part of the industry, probably resulted in the biggest chunk of points being deducted.
I did finish my degree, which was another big hurdle, just recently. So, it's not like I haven't made progress here. But the Best Buy system didn't ask me about that - or I didn't get far enough into it.
So, based on a point scale, after so many deductions, the SYSTEM will make a go or no-go decision about offering an interview.
Of course, things like my moving a lot were related to lack of a stable economic environment. I didn't have a job, so I had to move around to find a job and, also because my economics were unstable, I wasn't able until recently, to stay in one place for very long. Right now I'm back to rotating residences/sofa surfing. And that all culminated with the Bankruptcy, which has certainly eliminated me from various job considerations in the past - namely those that have government ties and or require security clearances. So because I couldn't get a job within a reasonable amount of time (I'd like to meet the people who define that particular limit and learn them something) after the Dot-com bubble burst, decimating my industry, and then the events of September 11th, I'm untrustworthy and irresponsible. My on-going financial challenges are reflected in my DMV record and the current items (should all be cleared out) that were in collections on my credit report and will remain on it for up to 7 years.
And it's not like I haven't worked. It just that most of it isn't relevant experience towards any IT related positions. (Bar, Gym, Construction, Non-profit)
Did I lie? No. Would I have gotten pegged if I had lied? Probably.
It's been my experience that when ever I've tried to "work" a system, it typically bites me in the ass. Plus, as part of the employment process, I would have had to sign a document affirming that everything I've told them is true to best of my knowledge and ability. Those kinds of things I won't ever lie on. And in truth, I wouldn't want to be part of anything that would require me to lie to maintain my employment status - ex the US Navy. Don't Ask. Don't Tell, don't fucking bother me.
The fucked up thing, is that I'm probably as capable and willing to do the job just as well as anyone else who hasn't had the points deducted. The non-standard path of my life simply falls outside the acceptable parameters of risk for most employers. That's an educated guess, admittedly. And a pretty depressing one. But it's a major component of the job search challenge that I've had.
These systems are designed with the assumption that people are going to lie to get what they want built into the analysis of their questions. When someone answers truthfully, they are screwed more because of the cynical programming logic than someone who "works the system" effectively and get's away with it, even if the programming logic raise a red flag on them.
People who screw up are often sent to jail to be rehabilitated. Often they rejoin society and are perfect little happy contributors. However, when you fail at life, there doesn't seems to be any acceptable standard of rehabilitation except for societal standards of success, which is what you don't meet when you fail at life. it's a recursive error with no escape or termination conditions.
Abort? Retry? Fail? Ignore?
What about CNTRL-ALT-DEL?
Can't I just shutdown, reboot, and everything will work again?
sigh.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment