Courtesy and Friendliness

I'm in to my final days here in San Diego, and while I'm still very apprehensive about this move, I'm eager to leave San Diego. I haven't done much as far as a big showy good bye. I've hardly even made much of an attempt to see anyone before I leave. It's easy to do as I haven't been going out much for months, and that really the only time I see anyone. Still, the of the people I have contacted to let them know I'm leaving, the few who have replied are more concerned about who's going to take care of their computer support needs than anything else it seems.

The paranoid portion of my brain tells me that my time here is done. That while I have many acquaintances, I'm not really certain I could name off very many friends still here in SD that I could call in a pinch for help. Or even if just needed to talk with someone. Of more than eighty people I sent the email about my truck for sale below, I got three replies. And only one had any feedback about the truck site. Looking at the hit counters on the pages, either the email didn't get through to a bunch of people (the NSA is filtering me. I know it!) or it was spam-sorted, or rule-deleted. Or the recipients just didn't care.

I'll own up to my end : a lot of that is my doing. I've pushed people away. I didn't know how to deal with some things in life so I closed up and locked myself away. But other people pulled away first, and it began a whole cycle-thing that I feel the only way to break out of is a fresh start in a new city, with new people and new opportunities. I don't wish any one in San Diego ill-will.

Perhaps in a few years, if I return to visit, people will be excited to see me and make time to spend with me. Instead of looking the other way when I smile, cross to the other side of the street when they see me coming, or come up with any excuse not to remain around when I'm nearby. Yeah, it's been that bad from some. Those who at one time seemed to value my counsel, and my offer of friendship. Who, now, it seems, can't even muster the most basic of courtesy.

If someone never replies/returns my phone calls, emails, instant messages, holiday & birthday greetings, does it really make me a bad person if I don't take the time to say "Good-bye"?

I think most people would think not. Yet, I'm still feeling a little pre-emptively guilty thinking about it.